Conditional Salvation?

I heard George Barna speak at the FAM Conference here at Azusa Pacific University this week. I would say that Barna is the most quoted voice in Christianity, so what he says--and what he believes--is important.

I took issue with something he said in his talk. (God--and George--forgive me if I misheard him, but this is what I walked away with.)

Barna said that we have "marketed salvation" wrong. We've made it free when there's actually a cost to it. Yes, it cost Jesus, he said, but we've made it too simplistic with "free." He said that in our culture "free" means you don't have to do anything for it. But, in his view, for there to be salvation, there must be brokenness--that the person must experience brokenness to genuinely receive salvation.

Huh?

The Barna Group research (of which George is no longer a part because he sold it in 2009) revealed in 2003 that a person’s response to the meaning and personal value of Jesus Christ’s life, death and resurrection is usually determined before a person reaches eighteen. In fact, a majority of Americans make a lasting determination about the personal significance of Christ’s death and resurrection by age 12.

How broken can a child be to receive salvation? And how biblical is this view? I've kept thinking about Ephesians 2:8-9: "It is by the grace of God that you are saved--and that NOT of yourselves. It is the free gift of God--not of works--lest anyone should boast."

I once believed that for people to receive salvation, they also needed to understand lordship--that they were giving up everything and following Jesus as their "boss." I don't believe that anymore. I think whenever we add conditions to receiving what Christ did for us on the cross, we are acting against God's will. Who among us fully understood the Christian faith when we chose to follow Christ? Like a child, we come to him and he receives us. Our understanding is limited.

While it may be true that conversions are dramatic and spiritual growth steep when someone comes to Christ in a time of crisis, it is no less true that those who come to Christ without crisis aren't also fully accepted and received into the kingdom of God.

 

Leading a Narcissist

In just one day, 250 million photos were uploaded to Facebook and 864,000 hours of video to YouTube, according to fastcompany.com. We minister in the midst of a narcissism epidemic. “Look at me, look at me, look at me now!” People long to be the center of the universe today. Now, not everyone is a narcissist who tweets or uses facebook. In fact, while studies show that narcissism is on the rise, I rarely run into one. Managing a narcissist, though, is a unique challenge.
How can you lead a narcissistic on your team? Here are a few key narcissistic characteristics I’ve observed that you have to manage:

1. Star Role Mentality—A narcissist already believes she’s the star of her life. Evidence of this is excessive tweeting, blogging, facebook-posting about the ever-so-interesting minutiae of her life. A narcissist believes the rest of us are just waiting on every post to know just how amazing life is in her world. A narcissist may listen politely to others’ ideas in brainstorming, but deep down she believes that her ideas are really 10 times better than others. So the idea of “brainstorming” is just an idea.
   
   How to manage: Cautiously give upfront roles to this person. The “stage” is like crack to a narcissist addict. Once you give a mic to a narcissist who doesn’t fully represent your values, you’re in trouble.  It’s very difficult to maintain your values/DNA with a narcissist who’ll do anything to get a laugh or attention. In brainstorm sessions, to get the best teamwork when you have a raging narcissist, continue to coach her on allowing others to also speak and being kind in her critique.
   
   
2. Teflon Mentality—A narcissist believes he does everything amazingly well. In fact, a narcissist believes that if there are problems with his work, it’s probably you who has the problem. If only you could see how amazing he is, he thinks, you’d quit correcting him. It’s very difficult to correct a narcissist who won’t acknowledge the need for correction.
   
   How to manage: Repetition seems to work for awhile. Continue to stay on message and reiterate the areas that need correction over and over and over. At the end of the day, it’ll go right back to the problem being you, but at least in the short-term you’ll see small improvements.
   
   
3. Fool Mentality—A narcissist believes that there’s nothing you can teach her since she’s great at everything already. Proverbs 17:10 says “A single rebuke does more for a person of understanding than a hundred lashes on the back of a fool.” Try as you might, pointing out areas that need improvement may not get through to a narcissist—even if you do it a hundred times. A narcissist won’t work on learning what you need her to because, after all, she has no deficits.
   
   How to manage: Like it or not, you may have to say goodbye to a narcissist on your team. If she absolutely will not heed correction, you need to help her see that it’s time to go. You may even need to fire the person. Upholding your ministry’s DNA and values outweighs the narcissist’s need to do it her super-awesome-amazing way that only she is the star of.

If you’d like to read more about the narcissism epidemic, click here.

PomPom Sunday

This last Sunday, our team prepared our kids for the big Palm Sunday parade they'd participate in during "big church." They'd carry palms in celebration of the day Jesus came into town.

When one of our kindergartners got his palm, he said, "This isn't a pom pom."

"No, it's a palm," one of the teachers explained.

"It doesn't look anything like a pom pom," he said, disappointment written all over his face.

Again, she tried to explain that the people in Jesus' day waved palms in celebration of Jesus.

He sadly took the palm and responded, "Well, I can't even shake it like a pompom."

Hilarious, yes! But profound, too. Our high calling as children's ministers is to translate all the wonderful truths from Jesus' life into terms children can understand today. While I love seeing the children parade through our church with their green palms, it might not be a bad idea someday to let them wave pompoms...or pendants...or big foam fingers. The kids might just catch the meaning a little better.

New meaning...old tradition. It's not a bad idea...something to think about.

As you celebrate Easter this Sunday, may God give you wisdom and grace to translate the most stupendous event in all of history into terms children can understand!

What I Like About Kidmins

I just went to Group's Simply Youth Ministry Conference, and it was...amazing! While there, I got to think a lot about the difference between youth ministers (2,500 of them) and the children's ministers I'm privileged to serve.

To keep this from being a big comparison thing, let me just tell you what I love about the amazing people who serve in children's ministry (some of it is different and some of it is the same--I'll let you guess which is which).

I love children's ministers' maturity. And, no, I'm not talking about age. Hey, I've seen some pretty immature old folks. What I mean by maturity is a seasoned approach to faith development, family and child issues, ministry challenges, and more that surpasses how old or young a kidmin is. This maturity is a well-worn mantle of experience that engenders trust.

I love children's ministers' hunger for Jesus. At the very core of their being is an undying love for our Savior. I love that! And I love how that love propels them forward through discouragement and victories. I love how kidmins don't get distracted by "success" or "failure"; rather, they keep serving week in and week out because of faithfulness to the one they love.

I love children's ministers' noble attitude about learning. While I regard children's ministry leaders as some of the most educated and professional people around, I rarely find an "I know it all" attitude among them. I love how they're always eager to learn more and evaluate what they already know. Kidmins are always on the prowl for new and better ways to reach kids for Jesus. I love that!

Going to SYMC made me even more excited about our KidMin Conference in Chicago Sept 28--Oct. 1. I can't wait to gather with hundreds of amazing kidmins who love kids and families and most of all--Jesus. We're going to have a rockin' time--and learn tons--and grow closer to our Savior. Sign up today! Check it out at http://group.com/childrens-ministry/kidmin-conference I'll see you there!!

Small Churches Rock!

I love the small church where I grew up in Dougherty, Oklahoma! It was there that my first touch with a children's ministry (even though they didn't call it that back then) changed my life forever.

I'm grateful for the small congregation that loved me, taught me, and prayed for me. I'm grateful for the little ragamuffin choir that would assemble by the songleader telling us to just come up front. And I'm grateful for the ways this church embraced me when I came back from college as an onfire Christian who ministered to our youth group from ages 3 to 16!

I guess I'm thinking about this because I just read an article from the May/June issue about Small Church Challenges from Rick Chromey (on newstands in mid-April). And I'm thinking how grateful I am that my small church met all those challenges--and more!

If you're part of a small church and sometimes get discouraged that you're not Big Church on the corner, I hope you'll be encouraged today. Someone--like me--will sing your praises throughout eternity because of your faithful love and service.

What you do matters--in big ways!

Beth Moore Confirmed at KidMin 2012

We're so excited about Beth Moore speaking at our KidMin Conference September 28--Oct. 1 in Chicago this year! This is such a God thing that she’s joining us!

We tried to get Beth to come through the regular channels and it wasn't working out. But God introduced us to a sweet man named Steve Seelig who just happened to be Beth’s lifetime friend. Steve explained what this unconventional conference is all about—renewed passion, deeper learning, and authentic conversation for children's and family ministers. He painted a beautiful picture of who our guests are--the most passionate, visionary, compassionate, creative, fun-loving ministers around!

And, basically, Beth said, "You had me at 'children.' " She's a grandma now and said she's so grateful for people who are investing in her grandkids in her church. And she wants to be able to speak that to you--if you’re there!

I know, Beth Moore is a big women's ministry speaker, but at KidMin, she's coming to speak to the heart of children's and family ministers--whether you're male or female!

Don't miss out! Every week, we're adding new, amazing people to our speaker and trainer lineup. And we're creating new surprises to bless you.

It's the truth when I tell you that seats are filling up fast. Register today! (and bring your team because there's so much to experience, you'll want to divide and conquer!)

Top 10 Ways to Love Your Volunteers

Valentine's Day isn't that far away. Plan ahead and use one of these ideas to let your volunteers know how much you appreciate them.

• Give a gift certificate from a local restaurant.
• Have children use a permanent marker to sign a thank-you T-shirt.
• Give 2 movie tickets.
• Give a small plant.
• Personalize a tote bag.
• Clean a teacher's classroom.
• Fill a coffee mug with a bag of ground flavored coffee.
• Create a bulletin board that features volunteers serving children.
• Have Psalm 71:18 printed in calligraphy and framed for a volunteer: "Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come."
• Give Whoppers candies with this note: "Thanks for your whopper ideas!"

For more ideas, go to http://www.childrensministry.com/articles/thanks-a-million!

Top Three Ways to Handle Snacks in Kidmin

What do we do with snacktime in children's ministry when there are so many food allergies with kids?

It's a real issue and one we need to grapple with. I remember one of my fondest memories as a kid at church was eating an orange pushup at a VBS--regardless of the fact that we were standing on hot pavement for snack time. And now, it makes me sad in my 2-year-old class when little ones say to me "I hungy" and I have to say that we're not allowed to give them snacks anymore. Is this what we've come to?

We asked children's ministers on our poll at www.childrensministry.com how they handle allergy policies. Here are the top three ways they do it:

1. We rely on parents to inform us if there are any allergies we need to know about (79%).

2. We provide food but post the ingredients and make sure parents alert us to allergies (16%).

3. We don't allow any food in our programs (5%).

The fourth option was "We allow kids to bring their own food, but don't provide any." (This is actually what our church does.)

So how does your church handle food allergies in your children's ministry? Post to help us all grapple with this issue.

 

Are New Years Resolutions Wrong?

I can't bring myself to make any resolutions this year. Maybe it's because I know that all of my past self-willed hopes and dreams fall short year after year. So why bother? Or maybe there's something bigger.

This last year when I was in the Dominican Republic, I was struck by the humility of the pastors and leaders there. When asked what they did, they would humbly preface their answer with "by the grace of God." So..."by the grace of God, I am the pastor of..." or "by the grace of God, I am the site director for..." Over and over, we heard them speak like this.

Would I ever have the humility to talk like this..."by the grace of God, I am..." Would I be self-conscious about it? Would it become an issue of pride for me to show how humble I am? Would it matter?

As I stand at the beginning of another year, I'm reminded about what the book of James says about resolving to do things in the future. James 4:13-16: Some of you say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to some city. We will stay there a year, do business, and make money." But you do not know what will happen tomorrow! Your life is like a mist. You can see it for a short time, but then it goes away. So you should say, "If the Lord wants, we will live and do this or that." But now you are proud and you brag. All of this bragging is wrong. Anyone who knows the right thing to do, but does not do it, is sinning.

Strong words. What if we learned from our brothers and sisters in Christ from the DR? What if we prefaced all our hopes and dreams and resolutions with "If the Lord wants..." or "by God's grace, I will..."? Are we afraid we'd feel antiquated and embarrassed? Part of me thinks so, but if I know to do right and I don't...it's sin.

I'm thinking this is my one resolution for this year: By the grace of God, I acknowledge that I'm nothing without God's grace and to purpose to know that every day what I do and don't do is in his hands. By the grace of God, I submit to his good and gracious will.

 

Heart Matters: Apples We Got

In “Apples We Got,” Amy Beth Larson confronts what seems like insurmountable need. She writes, “For every kid we pick up, there are at least a dozen others staring at our van from finger-smudged windows, street corners, and dirt lots. We've run out of van seats, room in the parish hall, resources, and volunteers. It's an impossible situation. An unfillable need. We can't keep up. Nor can we stop. We can't seem to walk away.”

Find out how God encourages her by reading her article on childrensministry.com.